Googling C-Rations

It was years ago, probably 1995, when I realized how powerful the Internet was as a research tool. I needed instruction in tying a Windsor knot in a necktie, and so I searched Alta Vista for “Windsor knot.” I got 47 returns for sites about Windsor knots.

In that instant, I knew the world had changed. I have retrieved lots more information since then, some of it truly arcane, and I am amazed again, every time, at the power of this technology. This morning, it happened again, but this time was another leap into new space. After this morning, I believe there is no bit of information, in all the history of humanity, that can’t be found in 10 seconds or less on the Internet.

I couldn’t remember the name of the small, can-opener tool that we used in the Army to open C-Rations cans. I carried this tool on my keychain for years after I got out of the Army, because it was one of the handiest tools imaginable. But somewhere along the way, I lost it. I have missed it ever since.

I hadn’t actively thought about it for awhile, though, until I was doing some menial task and realized I needed a – a what? This tool, but I couldn’t remember the name. It was a name I thought I’d never forget, like who sang “Wild Thang.” It was a very short name, more like Army nomenclature than an actual name. I was in a hurry, about to leave the house, so the moment passed. Then, later in the day, I remembered I was going to Google something. What was it? Ah. “C-Rations.”

I punched it in, hit “I’m Feeling Lucky,” and there was an Australian site about C-Rations, with photos and descriptions of C-Rations as being better to eat than nothing at all, but barely.

I scrolled down, and there it was: the P38, and a photo of it that pierced me with nostalgia. A flat, rectangular piece of gray steel, and flanged to it, a curved blade. The whole thing, not as large as a large paper clip.

A quote from the site:

“The tool acquired its name from the 38 punctures required to open a C-ration can, and from the boast that it performed with the speed of the World War II P-38 fighter plane.”

I don’t know about the 38 punctures – I never counted – but it is a fact that the P38 performed with the speed of the fighter plane by the same name. If you are a camper, and I did a lot of camping some years ago, the P38 saved more time and space than any other single item in camp.

Another quote:

“Yes, the P-38 opened cans, but it did much more. Any soldier will tell you that."

And any civilian who was a soldier will tell you that. I sure could have used the thing this morning.