As long as the GOP is into film icons for its surprise guest speakers, I must mention that "Air Force One" is on television this morning. Too late! Instead of Rest Home (formerly Dirty) Harry, the GOP might have scheduled President Harrison Ford!
At the least, I suggest that both candidates, Obama and Romney (alphabetical order) start wearing WWHFD bracelets. What would Harrison Ford do? Or WWDD bracelets. What would Dave do? Remember "Dave"? As long as political futures are being pinned on film icons as surprise guest speakers, the GOP could have had Kevin Kline, who can't be over 60 and, I'm sure, could do a crackerjack job of interviewing an empty chair!
I don't know if Harrison and Kevin are Democrats or Republicans. If they're Democrats, the Dems should waste no time booking them as surprise guest speakers next week in Charlotte, and put Jon Stewart's people in charge of the skit. Who was in charge of Clint Eastwood last night? My God, if the Republicans win, and they run the White House like they ran their convention . . .
I mean no disrespect to Clint Eastwood, who onstage last night was the embodiment of what Gramma Holman, my late, great gramma-in-law from Alsace-Lorraine, used to say about the American infatuation with youth: "Fear neither youth nor beauty; these are things which time will cure." I heard one anchor describe Clint this morning as "the bad, the worse, and the ugly." Hey, lady: you'll be 82 someday.
August 31, 2012
August 30, 2012
Hitting it out of the park with an easy toss to Mitch McConnell
Hey Mitt,
To get everything for America that you talked about in your acceptance speech tonight, give your speech to Mitch McConnell and tell him to memorize it and act on it. That is all you have to do. It won't win you the presidency, but it will guarantee respect for you and recovery for the nation.
To get everything for America that you talked about in your acceptance speech tonight, give your speech to Mitch McConnell and tell him to memorize it and act on it. That is all you have to do. It won't win you the presidency, but it will guarantee respect for you and recovery for the nation.
Taking it on the shin
“Casablanca” was on last night, so I missed Paul Ryan’s speech. I have seen it 100 times, but honestly, I would choose to watch “Casablanca” for the 100th time than a Paul Ryan speech for the first time.
I wish someone inside convention management would preview convention speeches and remove confusing images before they occur, which has been every night of the convention so far. Tuesday night, Chris Christie confused me (see my previous blog) when he said, “Our seniors aren’t selfish,” when the transcript of his speech read, “Seniors are not selfish.”
Last night it was Rand Paul (he came on before “Casablanca”), talking about the global appeal of The American Dream. A boatload of Vietnamese refugees was approaching a U.S. vessel, he said, and the refugees were apparently aglow and emoting gleefully at the very sight of Americans.
Paul said that, watching this, “it was hard not to get a lump between your shin and your bellybutton.” I was taken aback. I could think of only one place in the American male anatomy where a lump could appear between the shin and the bellybutton, and it likely would not be inspired by a boatload of Vietnamese refugees.
A few seconds later, naturally I thought, “He must have meant CHIN.” I wish someone had thought of the opportunity for confusion at the point where they were vetting the script, and realized he should change it to “nose,” and spare viewers their 10-second image of Rand Paul with a lump between his shin and bellybutton, brought on by the approach of a boatload of Vietnamese refugees.
Tonight: Mitt Romney. I wonder who will play Mitt Romney in the movie.
I wish someone inside convention management would preview convention speeches and remove confusing images before they occur, which has been every night of the convention so far. Tuesday night, Chris Christie confused me (see my previous blog) when he said, “Our seniors aren’t selfish,” when the transcript of his speech read, “Seniors are not selfish.”
Last night it was Rand Paul (he came on before “Casablanca”), talking about the global appeal of The American Dream. A boatload of Vietnamese refugees was approaching a U.S. vessel, he said, and the refugees were apparently aglow and emoting gleefully at the very sight of Americans.
Paul said that, watching this, “it was hard not to get a lump between your shin and your bellybutton.” I was taken aback. I could think of only one place in the American male anatomy where a lump could appear between the shin and the bellybutton, and it likely would not be inspired by a boatload of Vietnamese refugees.
A few seconds later, naturally I thought, “He must have meant CHIN.” I wish someone had thought of the opportunity for confusion at the point where they were vetting the script, and realized he should change it to “nose,” and spare viewers their 10-second image of Rand Paul with a lump between his shin and bellybutton, brought on by the approach of a boatload of Vietnamese refugees.
Tonight: Mitt Romney. I wonder who will play Mitt Romney in the movie.
August 29, 2012
It was fun while it lasted
I had a Roseanne Roseannadanna moment last night.
I heard Chris Christie, in his keynote speech, say, or state, actually, "Our seniors aren't selfish!"
Naturally I had to blog.
Hey, Chris Christie, you trembling temple of tedium, I want you and me to meet in gym shorts on a beach to give me the opportunity of beating you bloody for what you said about me last night. My body weight would not displace the mass of your right thigh, but you will find in me that you don't corner the market on feisty, you fatuous freighter of falsiness.
You called me a selfish senior. "Your" seniors aren't selfish, but all the other seniors are. I just retired in July and started Social Security and Medicare, and in all the paperwork my wife and I waded through, nowhere do I remember being asked if I was Republican, Democrat, or Independent.
So how do you tell us apart, you risible rotunda of righteousness? I worked from the year I was 12 years old. I made my first Social Security contribution in 1955. I started paying into Medicare in the 1960s, like every other hard-working American with prematurely weathered hands and a dream for the future.
On July 1, the day I retired, I took a ceremonial look at my Social Security statement. My first contribution to Social Security was $109, in 1955. I worked for Abilene Blueprint Co. that summer, delivering blueprints around town on my bicycle.
Fifty-seven years later, at age 69, I retired, feeling blessed to live in a country which created a means to let the middle class enjoy some retirement years instead of dropping dead on the job at age 80. Social Security and Medicare made me feel like I was their partner, and that made me feel important, waking up on that first morning of retirement. "Thank you, there, in Washington, D.C.," I said. "I am going to frame that card you sent me in 1955, which today feels like a diploma."
And it still does, Mr. Chris Christie, you CostCo quantity of Crisco. Did you know that, from your right side, your body looks like a map of New Jersey and Delaware? If that was the party's keynote speech last night, you supercilious salon of superiority, I and my wife are going to thank God every second for the rest of our lives that we aren't incarcerated in the Republican Party, you dreadnought of disrespect.
I was ready to post, but I have an editor who sits on my left shoulder. "Better check the speech transcript," he said. I found the transcript at The Washington Post website. He read it out loud:
"We believe in telling seniors the truth about our overburdened entitlements. We know seniors not only want these programs to survive, but they just as badly want them secured for their grandchildren. Seniors are not selfish."
"He didn't say, 'Our seniors,'" the editor said.
"Yes he did," I said. "I heard him. My wife heard him."
"I did, too, the hulking hangar of hubris," said the editor. "But that's not what he meant."
Oh.
Never mind.
I heard Chris Christie, in his keynote speech, say, or state, actually, "Our seniors aren't selfish!"
Naturally I had to blog.
Hey, Chris Christie, you trembling temple of tedium, I want you and me to meet in gym shorts on a beach to give me the opportunity of beating you bloody for what you said about me last night. My body weight would not displace the mass of your right thigh, but you will find in me that you don't corner the market on feisty, you fatuous freighter of falsiness.
You called me a selfish senior. "Your" seniors aren't selfish, but all the other seniors are. I just retired in July and started Social Security and Medicare, and in all the paperwork my wife and I waded through, nowhere do I remember being asked if I was Republican, Democrat, or Independent.
So how do you tell us apart, you risible rotunda of righteousness? I worked from the year I was 12 years old. I made my first Social Security contribution in 1955. I started paying into Medicare in the 1960s, like every other hard-working American with prematurely weathered hands and a dream for the future.
On July 1, the day I retired, I took a ceremonial look at my Social Security statement. My first contribution to Social Security was $109, in 1955. I worked for Abilene Blueprint Co. that summer, delivering blueprints around town on my bicycle.
Fifty-seven years later, at age 69, I retired, feeling blessed to live in a country which created a means to let the middle class enjoy some retirement years instead of dropping dead on the job at age 80. Social Security and Medicare made me feel like I was their partner, and that made me feel important, waking up on that first morning of retirement. "Thank you, there, in Washington, D.C.," I said. "I am going to frame that card you sent me in 1955, which today feels like a diploma."
And it still does, Mr. Chris Christie, you CostCo quantity of Crisco. Did you know that, from your right side, your body looks like a map of New Jersey and Delaware? If that was the party's keynote speech last night, you supercilious salon of superiority, I and my wife are going to thank God every second for the rest of our lives that we aren't incarcerated in the Republican Party, you dreadnought of disrespect.
I was ready to post, but I have an editor who sits on my left shoulder. "Better check the speech transcript," he said. I found the transcript at The Washington Post website. He read it out loud:
"We believe in telling seniors the truth about our overburdened entitlements. We know seniors not only want these programs to survive, but they just as badly want them secured for their grandchildren. Seniors are not selfish."
"He didn't say, 'Our seniors,'" the editor said.
"Yes he did," I said. "I heard him. My wife heard him."
"I did, too, the hulking hangar of hubris," said the editor. "But that's not what he meant."
Oh.
Never mind.
August 25, 2012
The 2012 Election: a novel
So I'm working on a novel – "Four More Years" – about the 2012 presidential election.
The opening line is: "Everyone knew in 2008 that, whoever was elected president, it would take him two terms to undo the wreckage left by the previous administration."
In that 2008 election, John McCain is elected president, barely squeaking past fresh, new, and popular Democrat Barack Obama because, as the political analysts opined, "Too many Americans just were not ready for a black president."
McCain's running mate was Mitt Romney, whose background as Massachusetts governor provided centrist appeal, which the analysts said was crucial to the ticket's victory. Dana Milbank of The Washington Post described Romney as "the perfect vice-presidential candidate."
McCain inherits several crises, including two disastrous wars, Wall Street greed and collapse, the crippling deregulated lending practices of banks that were "too big to fail," an auto industry nearing bankruptcy, the Bush tax cuts, the terrorism threat, and soaring health care costs.
McCain responds by enacting war phase-out timetables, a bank bail-out, an economy stimulus package, an auto bail-out, a call to end the Bush tax cuts, a successful strike to kill Osama bin Laden, and introduction of the Affordable Care Act, based on Romney's success as governor with a Massachusetts model.
Limbaugh Republicans are outraged. In 2009 they become organized, and the Tea Party is formed. A wave of Tea Party candidates rides the outrage to success in the 2010 elections and gives the G.O.P. a majority in the House of Representatives. Their pledge: to make John McCain a one-term president.
Congressional gridlock ensues. President McCain, when necessary, finds ways to maneuver around the gridlock, enacting needed programs on executive order.
By 2012, the Limbaugh Republicans are apoplectic. McCain-Romney is the incumbent ticket. Obama, with his Senate bipartisanship and oratory, emerges from a fierce primary over Hillary Clinton. The Tea Party looks at its choices and sees none. It initiates a third-party primary and selects Ron Paul as its presidential candidate. Paul chooses Paul Ryan as his running mate.
The campaign is nasty. Donald Trump claims the Navy has documents showing McCain was brainwashed as a POW by Hanoi Marxists. Rush Limbaugh calls Romney "a Ted Kennedy clone." On Fox, Sean Hannity asks Rick Perry, "Governor, by splitting the party, aren't you just handing the presidency to the liberals?" "Give me liberty or give me . . . uh," Perry responds.
On election night, McCain concedes at 7:45 Eastern time, Paul does not concede at all, and McCain goes home to a good night's sleep, knowing he did what he had to do.
In his inaugural speech, President Obama applauds President McCain for his service. "But you know, we still face the same reality that we did in 2008: 'Whoever is elected president, it will take him two terms to undo the wreckage.' I am not the same president, but I pledge to America today to complete the work of that second term, in the next four years."
The opening line is: "Everyone knew in 2008 that, whoever was elected president, it would take him two terms to undo the wreckage left by the previous administration."
In that 2008 election, John McCain is elected president, barely squeaking past fresh, new, and popular Democrat Barack Obama because, as the political analysts opined, "Too many Americans just were not ready for a black president."
McCain's running mate was Mitt Romney, whose background as Massachusetts governor provided centrist appeal, which the analysts said was crucial to the ticket's victory. Dana Milbank of The Washington Post described Romney as "the perfect vice-presidential candidate."
McCain inherits several crises, including two disastrous wars, Wall Street greed and collapse, the crippling deregulated lending practices of banks that were "too big to fail," an auto industry nearing bankruptcy, the Bush tax cuts, the terrorism threat, and soaring health care costs.
McCain responds by enacting war phase-out timetables, a bank bail-out, an economy stimulus package, an auto bail-out, a call to end the Bush tax cuts, a successful strike to kill Osama bin Laden, and introduction of the Affordable Care Act, based on Romney's success as governor with a Massachusetts model.
Limbaugh Republicans are outraged. In 2009 they become organized, and the Tea Party is formed. A wave of Tea Party candidates rides the outrage to success in the 2010 elections and gives the G.O.P. a majority in the House of Representatives. Their pledge: to make John McCain a one-term president.
Congressional gridlock ensues. President McCain, when necessary, finds ways to maneuver around the gridlock, enacting needed programs on executive order.
By 2012, the Limbaugh Republicans are apoplectic. McCain-Romney is the incumbent ticket. Obama, with his Senate bipartisanship and oratory, emerges from a fierce primary over Hillary Clinton. The Tea Party looks at its choices and sees none. It initiates a third-party primary and selects Ron Paul as its presidential candidate. Paul chooses Paul Ryan as his running mate.
The campaign is nasty. Donald Trump claims the Navy has documents showing McCain was brainwashed as a POW by Hanoi Marxists. Rush Limbaugh calls Romney "a Ted Kennedy clone." On Fox, Sean Hannity asks Rick Perry, "Governor, by splitting the party, aren't you just handing the presidency to the liberals?" "Give me liberty or give me . . . uh," Perry responds.
On election night, McCain concedes at 7:45 Eastern time, Paul does not concede at all, and McCain goes home to a good night's sleep, knowing he did what he had to do.
In his inaugural speech, President Obama applauds President McCain for his service. "But you know, we still face the same reality that we did in 2008: 'Whoever is elected president, it will take him two terms to undo the wreckage.' I am not the same president, but I pledge to America today to complete the work of that second term, in the next four years."
August 23, 2012
Before the convention, at least . . .
Looks like the Mitt tax returns story is starting to break . . .
August 22, 2012
333 million ways to put Todd Akin in perspective
Movie, TV and stage producers were hired to construct a G.O.P. Convention set that will make Mitt Romney appear less "stiff, aloof, and distant," than he actually is.
If movie magic works for Mechanical Mitt, the producers ought to see if there's some way to make Todd Akin, the Mighty Moron Misogynist from Missouri, appear more bearable than he actually is, which would seem really important to the G.O.P at this time.
I Googled "rape movies" for some background. There were 274 million returns, so there's no shortage of information. Then I had a dark thought, inspired by that 274 million: why would so many people visit "rape movies" sites?
So I Googled "rape videos." Three hundred and thirty-three million returns. Including this one, the sixth link in the list: "Rape Board: Message board for people who wish to roleplay and discuss rape fantasies." I clicked it. There were menus for "Rape gallery," "Incest gallery," "Bestiality gallery," "Gay sex gallery," "Anime gallery," and "Scat gallery."
I unclicked it. Now I will spend minutes or hours trying to vomit this sick feeling out of my throat, and months or years trying to unclick "Rape Board" from my mind.
All the same, if the goal is to make Todd Akin appear more bearable, "Rape Board" does the job. Against that kind of sub-human background, Akin is not Mighty at all, nor is he an important upper-case Moron or Misogynist who could spoil a convention setting. He is simply a barely significant lower-case moron and misogynist who needs to do the research (and tell his cohorts to do the same) before shooting his mouth off about deeply significant (333 million returns!) women's issues like rape, rapists, and abortion, all in the name of acquiring enough votes to get into the United States Senate.
If movie magic works for Mechanical Mitt, the producers ought to see if there's some way to make Todd Akin, the Mighty Moron Misogynist from Missouri, appear more bearable than he actually is, which would seem really important to the G.O.P at this time.
I Googled "rape movies" for some background. There were 274 million returns, so there's no shortage of information. Then I had a dark thought, inspired by that 274 million: why would so many people visit "rape movies" sites?
So I Googled "rape videos." Three hundred and thirty-three million returns. Including this one, the sixth link in the list: "Rape Board: Message board for people who wish to roleplay and discuss rape fantasies." I clicked it. There were menus for "Rape gallery," "Incest gallery," "Bestiality gallery," "Gay sex gallery," "Anime gallery," and "Scat gallery."
I unclicked it. Now I will spend minutes or hours trying to vomit this sick feeling out of my throat, and months or years trying to unclick "Rape Board" from my mind.
All the same, if the goal is to make Todd Akin appear more bearable, "Rape Board" does the job. Against that kind of sub-human background, Akin is not Mighty at all, nor is he an important upper-case Moron or Misogynist who could spoil a convention setting. He is simply a barely significant lower-case moron and misogynist who needs to do the research (and tell his cohorts to do the same) before shooting his mouth off about deeply significant (333 million returns!) women's issues like rape, rapists, and abortion, all in the name of acquiring enough votes to get into the United States Senate.
August 20, 2012
The 2012 Universal Voter Literacy Test
Evidence surfaced yesterday that 65-year-old Todd Akin, in his sixth term in Congress, has an IQ which, if it "slips any lower," as the late Molly Ivins once said about Texas Congressman James M. Collins, "we'll have to water him twice a day."
If that, in August, 2012, indicates the state of the elected's intellect, it must bring into question the state of the electorate's intellect, which puts all Congresspersons into office. The Akin situation, the electorate's intellect situation, and the Romney tax returns situation, are the same. If there is bad news, the time to learn it is now, to give the nation the time to correct and recover as best as possible before the November election.
I call on the presiding authority, therefore, to institute a literacy test, to be taken and passed (with a 100 percent score) by all voters before being admitted to the voting booth on Nov. 6.
True or false: the sun revolves around the earth.
What does two plus two equal?
Name three federal agencies headquartered in Washington, D.C.
In "Washington, D.C." what does "D.C." stand for?
What is a "poll tax"?
Who went up the hill to fetch a pail of water?
Spell the animal that kittens grow into.
Who is buried in Attila the Hun's grave?
What is the difference between "legitimate rape" and "illegitimate rape"?
How many people does it take to make a baby?
How old do a) blue-eyed Democrats b) brown-eyed Republicans have to be in order to vote?
What is the difference between "Roe" and "Wade"?
In what city can you find the original copy of the Declaration of the Constitution?
In what numerical grade is a sophomore in high school?
Name the ways the female body has to shut down a pregnancy after rape.
Which will come first, Mitt Romney's tax returns, or Todd Akins' resignation?
If that, in August, 2012, indicates the state of the elected's intellect, it must bring into question the state of the electorate's intellect, which puts all Congresspersons into office. The Akin situation, the electorate's intellect situation, and the Romney tax returns situation, are the same. If there is bad news, the time to learn it is now, to give the nation the time to correct and recover as best as possible before the November election.
I call on the presiding authority, therefore, to institute a literacy test, to be taken and passed (with a 100 percent score) by all voters before being admitted to the voting booth on Nov. 6.
True or false: the sun revolves around the earth.
What does two plus two equal?
Name three federal agencies headquartered in Washington, D.C.
In "Washington, D.C." what does "D.C." stand for?
What is a "poll tax"?
Who went up the hill to fetch a pail of water?
Spell the animal that kittens grow into.
Who is buried in Attila the Hun's grave?
What is the difference between "legitimate rape" and "illegitimate rape"?
How many people does it take to make a baby?
How old do a) blue-eyed Democrats b) brown-eyed Republicans have to be in order to vote?
What is the difference between "Roe" and "Wade"?
In what city can you find the original copy of the Declaration of the Constitution?
In what numerical grade is a sophomore in high school?
Name the ways the female body has to shut down a pregnancy after rape.
Which will come first, Mitt Romney's tax returns, or Todd Akins' resignation?
August 19, 2012
A new craving for stillness
I have always appreciated moments of stillness, such as you encounter when you walk outside on Christmas morning.
But now, in 2012, I find that I have come to crave moments of stillness. I made this decision at 6 this morning when I took my coffee and my Sheltie pal Dixie outside for a few minutes on the glider. It was Aug. 19, not Christmas, but the stillness was there. Nothing moving, no wind, no sounds of animals, humans, planes or cars.
I enjoy a privileged viewing position on the brow of a hill, so that I can see eastern, southern, and western horizons, with carpets of streets and residences in the near and middle distances, then the bare, original surfaces of undeveloped foothills on the east and south, and then the ocean on the west.
It lets me see the way Earth is now, and the way it once was, 100 or 1,000 or 1 million years ago. The stillness I craved this morning was guaranteed only above the population line, from the way the Earth once was. Very little, if any, opportunity for stillness remains down there in the population carpet.
San Diego journalist Richard Louv, after he left The San Diego Union, earned international fame with his book, "Last Child in the Woods," arguing for the importance of the relationship between children and nature. This morning – and it wasn't the six-year-old in me – I felt an accelerated yearning, that I expect many adult Americans feel, for that relationship.
Of course Richard has beat me to it. I went to his Website to check the title of his "Last Child" book and discover he has a new book, "The Nature Principle: Human Restoration and the End of Nature-Deficit Disorder," which offers "a new vision of the future, in which our lives are as immersed in nature as they are in technology."
This morning, my yearning was that the human carpet take lessons on stillness from Earth itself. Earth can, after all, be very noisy, but not all day long and then only by unamplified natives or the necessities of fire, wind and water. Of course I will need Amazon to order Richard's book, and I can't not check the Web three or four times a day to see if Romney's tax returns have been revealed.
But this morning this new yearning appeared, and I can't not respond to it, either.
But now, in 2012, I find that I have come to crave moments of stillness. I made this decision at 6 this morning when I took my coffee and my Sheltie pal Dixie outside for a few minutes on the glider. It was Aug. 19, not Christmas, but the stillness was there. Nothing moving, no wind, no sounds of animals, humans, planes or cars.
I enjoy a privileged viewing position on the brow of a hill, so that I can see eastern, southern, and western horizons, with carpets of streets and residences in the near and middle distances, then the bare, original surfaces of undeveloped foothills on the east and south, and then the ocean on the west.
It lets me see the way Earth is now, and the way it once was, 100 or 1,000 or 1 million years ago. The stillness I craved this morning was guaranteed only above the population line, from the way the Earth once was. Very little, if any, opportunity for stillness remains down there in the population carpet.
San Diego journalist Richard Louv, after he left The San Diego Union, earned international fame with his book, "Last Child in the Woods," arguing for the importance of the relationship between children and nature. This morning – and it wasn't the six-year-old in me – I felt an accelerated yearning, that I expect many adult Americans feel, for that relationship.
Of course Richard has beat me to it. I went to his Website to check the title of his "Last Child" book and discover he has a new book, "The Nature Principle: Human Restoration and the End of Nature-Deficit Disorder," which offers "a new vision of the future, in which our lives are as immersed in nature as they are in technology."
This morning, my yearning was that the human carpet take lessons on stillness from Earth itself. Earth can, after all, be very noisy, but not all day long and then only by unamplified natives or the necessities of fire, wind and water. Of course I will need Amazon to order Richard's book, and I can't not check the Web three or four times a day to see if Romney's tax returns have been revealed.
But this morning this new yearning appeared, and I can't not respond to it, either.
August 16, 2012
How investigative journalism works
This is the way investigative reporting normally works.
The reporter spends days or weeks or months collecting information, each item of which should be (ask Dan Rather) verified by at least three sources.
When the reporter is satisfied the information is as complete as possible, his/her last step is to call the subject of the story. "This is what I've got," says the reporter. "It will be in tomorrow's paper (or tonight's telecast). I want to make sure my information is correct. Will you go through it with me?"
Typically, the subject of the story will not be very happy to be talking to this reporter. Even if the reporter is talking to Mitt, and tells him the income tax returns are free of illegality, Mitt, if he is smart (and most of them are), will ask for time to check the documents. The two will set a deadline, and Mitt will go into damage control. The docs may not be illegal, but some of the content (legal loopholes, offshore techniques, etc.) may not endear him to potential voters.
This also buys Mitt time to tell reporters something like he has paid 13 percent over the last decade, or something else to show he has decided to cooperate, which looks much better than the story breaking cold.
In the old pre-Internet days, the Mitt-reporter deadline would have been keyed to the old, and very slow, news cycle: midnight tonight for The Washington Post, 4 p.m. Eastern for CBS. Now, the news cycle is 60 seconds long. It's 1:25 p.m. in California, 4:25 Eastern, I wouldn't be surprised if something didn't pop by 5 Eastern. Or, depending on deals still being made, early tomorrow.
The reporter spends days or weeks or months collecting information, each item of which should be (ask Dan Rather) verified by at least three sources.
When the reporter is satisfied the information is as complete as possible, his/her last step is to call the subject of the story. "This is what I've got," says the reporter. "It will be in tomorrow's paper (or tonight's telecast). I want to make sure my information is correct. Will you go through it with me?"
Typically, the subject of the story will not be very happy to be talking to this reporter. Even if the reporter is talking to Mitt, and tells him the income tax returns are free of illegality, Mitt, if he is smart (and most of them are), will ask for time to check the documents. The two will set a deadline, and Mitt will go into damage control. The docs may not be illegal, but some of the content (legal loopholes, offshore techniques, etc.) may not endear him to potential voters.
This also buys Mitt time to tell reporters something like he has paid 13 percent over the last decade, or something else to show he has decided to cooperate, which looks much better than the story breaking cold.
In the old pre-Internet days, the Mitt-reporter deadline would have been keyed to the old, and very slow, news cycle: midnight tonight for The Washington Post, 4 p.m. Eastern for CBS. Now, the news cycle is 60 seconds long. It's 1:25 p.m. in California, 4:25 Eastern, I wouldn't be surprised if something didn't pop by 5 Eastern. Or, depending on deals still being made, early tomorrow.
Talk about breaking news . . .
Yikes! Within an hour of my last blog, Mitt told reporters in South Carolina that he had paid "a tax rate of at least 13 percent on his income in each of the last 10 years."
I would say he is getting close to releasing the actual documents himself, perhaps beating someone who is getting close to releasing them for him. Either way is fine; voters just need, and deserve, this information about this candidate. It may be dynamite, it may be daffodils.
I would say he is getting close to releasing the actual documents himself, perhaps beating someone who is getting close to releasing them for him. Either way is fine; voters just need, and deserve, this information about this candidate. It may be dynamite, it may be daffodils.
Rooting out the tax returns story
As we speak, very talented and determined reporters from numerous media organizations are working very hard to find out what is in Mitt Romney's income tax returns from the last 10-15 years. It is one of the biggest stories in this presidential campaign.
Sooner or later, that information will become known, as it well should. Television journalist Jeff Greenfield put it nicely several years ago, in a speech he gave about "the press":
"The bedrock theory of the free press is that once society decides to invest ultimate power in the people, they must have access to the widest possible range of information."
It's that "widest possible range of information" that gives reporters and editors their determination. A reigning example would be Watergate, 1972-74, when Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee and his reporters, Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward, pursued the Watergate burglary story for two years, with other organizations joining in, before information was obtained which forced President Nixon to resign.
The Romney income tax information may – or may not – become significant in the election. All we can say about that information is that it will become known. Cops and reporters move through their worlds with three letters floating in their vision: DLR. Doesn't Look Right. Too many people are involved in the Romney taxes story, and those people know people who are not involved but know enough to not look right to a reporter. It only takes one, to start connecting the dots.
What happens then will depend on the information. People will factor it in to the choice they are going to make when they take their ultimate power into the election booth Nov. 6.
Voter ID is another big story in this election, and let us pause to appreciate the irony. A voter, possessing ultimate power, has to provide ID information tailored to local policies or be denied that power. The candidate can withhold information that could influence election results. DLR.
Sooner or later, that information will become known, as it well should. Television journalist Jeff Greenfield put it nicely several years ago, in a speech he gave about "the press":
"The bedrock theory of the free press is that once society decides to invest ultimate power in the people, they must have access to the widest possible range of information."
It's that "widest possible range of information" that gives reporters and editors their determination. A reigning example would be Watergate, 1972-74, when Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee and his reporters, Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward, pursued the Watergate burglary story for two years, with other organizations joining in, before information was obtained which forced President Nixon to resign.
The Romney income tax information may – or may not – become significant in the election. All we can say about that information is that it will become known. Cops and reporters move through their worlds with three letters floating in their vision: DLR. Doesn't Look Right. Too many people are involved in the Romney taxes story, and those people know people who are not involved but know enough to not look right to a reporter. It only takes one, to start connecting the dots.
What happens then will depend on the information. People will factor it in to the choice they are going to make when they take their ultimate power into the election booth Nov. 6.
Voter ID is another big story in this election, and let us pause to appreciate the irony. A voter, possessing ultimate power, has to provide ID information tailored to local policies or be denied that power. The candidate can withhold information that could influence election results. DLR.
August 15, 2012
Romney's rock and a hard place
I was wrong the other day when I blogged that the media dialogue on the upside-down Romney-Ryan ticket "will be fun to watch."
Actually, it will be excruciating. The "upside-down" metaphor, borrowed from the upside-down, or "under water" mortgages created by the housing collapse, means that Ryan has greater value to the ultra-conservative Tea Party G.O.P. base than Romney does. (I predicted media would quickly pick up the upside-down theme, and it has already started to happen. Sample quote from a news story: "In fact, at times it seemed as if the Wisconsin congressman was at the top of the Republican ticket instead of Mr. Romney.")
I would expect the base, through spokespersons like Palin, Bachmann and Limbaugh, would want to seize the Ryan Opportunity by asking for more conservatism from Romney.
Thus we may find growing evidence that, by selecting Ryan as his VP running mate, Romney wedged himself between a rock and a hard place. If he moves even closer to the Tea Party agenda, he will lose moderate and centrist Republican support, from both party leaders and voters. Believe me, that slice of the G.O.P. really knows what it feels like to be a Trouser. Who would they vote for? Maybe a yellow dog. Remember the "Yellow Dog Democrats" from the early 20th century? They would vote for a yellow dog, if it was a Democrat. A Yellow Dog Republican in 2012 would vote for a yellow dog, or an incumbent named Obama, if it wasn't a Tea Partyer.
If Romney resists further Tea Party advances, he keeps centrist support but invites not solicitation, but fury, from Palin, Bachmann and Limbaugh, who might well begin to suggest that the G.O.P. convention replace Romney with Ryan at the top of the ticket. In fact, I must hedge my view a bit, and suggest that a G.O.P. convention (it starts Aug. 27) embroiled on that issue would be fun to watch, even great fun. If that happened, though, who would be chosen as Ryan's VP running mate? That will be the excruciating part.
Actually, it will be excruciating. The "upside-down" metaphor, borrowed from the upside-down, or "under water" mortgages created by the housing collapse, means that Ryan has greater value to the ultra-conservative Tea Party G.O.P. base than Romney does. (I predicted media would quickly pick up the upside-down theme, and it has already started to happen. Sample quote from a news story: "In fact, at times it seemed as if the Wisconsin congressman was at the top of the Republican ticket instead of Mr. Romney.")
I would expect the base, through spokespersons like Palin, Bachmann and Limbaugh, would want to seize the Ryan Opportunity by asking for more conservatism from Romney.
Thus we may find growing evidence that, by selecting Ryan as his VP running mate, Romney wedged himself between a rock and a hard place. If he moves even closer to the Tea Party agenda, he will lose moderate and centrist Republican support, from both party leaders and voters. Believe me, that slice of the G.O.P. really knows what it feels like to be a Trouser. Who would they vote for? Maybe a yellow dog. Remember the "Yellow Dog Democrats" from the early 20th century? They would vote for a yellow dog, if it was a Democrat. A Yellow Dog Republican in 2012 would vote for a yellow dog, or an incumbent named Obama, if it wasn't a Tea Partyer.
If Romney resists further Tea Party advances, he keeps centrist support but invites not solicitation, but fury, from Palin, Bachmann and Limbaugh, who might well begin to suggest that the G.O.P. convention replace Romney with Ryan at the top of the ticket. In fact, I must hedge my view a bit, and suggest that a G.O.P. convention (it starts Aug. 27) embroiled on that issue would be fun to watch, even great fun. If that happened, though, who would be chosen as Ryan's VP running mate? That will be the excruciating part.
August 11, 2012
Romney-Ryan: food for thought
Trousers, Mitt's Romney's selection of Rep. Paul Ryan as his running mate gives us a lot to think about.
All observers agree Paul Ryan knows exactly where he stands. And all observers agree that Mitt Romney doesn't know exactly where he stands. This includes observers from the committed right, including The Wall Street Journal editorial board and The Weekly Standard, who during the week urged Romney to select Ryan, because the right knows exactly where Ryan stands.
The effect, to use the mortgage-bubble term, is to put the Romney-Ryan ticket under water. Ryan, the VP candidate, has greater value to the conservative universe than does Romney, the assumed presidential nominee.
Thus, if Ryan, hypothetically, were the G.O.P. assumed presidential nominee, and looking for a running mate to give the ticket its best chance to defeat Obama, would he select Mitt Romney as his running mate?
People in the creative world, meanwhile, as ever, are poking this new cloud with a stick.
Sooner or later, I will wager, someone in the Obama organization, or a centrist or left-leaning pundit in the mainstream media, will hit on the "under-water ticket" that we have already begun to think about, and that back-and-forth, as it plays out, will be fun to watch.
I didn't see the moment of Romney's announcement on TV this morning, but I did listen to about 90 seconds of Ryan's speech and was underwhelmed by his energy. "Wonk and Wonk Jr.," I said to myself, deciding I should go Google "Tweedledum and Tweedledee," "Mutt and Jeff," and other classic pairings up there in the cloud.
All observers agree Paul Ryan knows exactly where he stands. And all observers agree that Mitt Romney doesn't know exactly where he stands. This includes observers from the committed right, including The Wall Street Journal editorial board and The Weekly Standard, who during the week urged Romney to select Ryan, because the right knows exactly where Ryan stands.
The effect, to use the mortgage-bubble term, is to put the Romney-Ryan ticket under water. Ryan, the VP candidate, has greater value to the conservative universe than does Romney, the assumed presidential nominee.
Thus, if Ryan, hypothetically, were the G.O.P. assumed presidential nominee, and looking for a running mate to give the ticket its best chance to defeat Obama, would he select Mitt Romney as his running mate?
People in the creative world, meanwhile, as ever, are poking this new cloud with a stick.
Sooner or later, I will wager, someone in the Obama organization, or a centrist or left-leaning pundit in the mainstream media, will hit on the "under-water ticket" that we have already begun to think about, and that back-and-forth, as it plays out, will be fun to watch.
I didn't see the moment of Romney's announcement on TV this morning, but I did listen to about 90 seconds of Ryan's speech and was underwhelmed by his energy. "Wonk and Wonk Jr.," I said to myself, deciding I should go Google "Tweedledum and Tweedledee," "Mutt and Jeff," and other classic pairings up there in the cloud.
August 10, 2012
Mitt's good, but he's no Palin
Trousers, I know this presidential campaign is starting to wear on you. So I offer you this clip of an interview from Oct. 24, 2008, showing we don't have it so bad in 2012, after all. "Williams" is Brian Williams.
WILLIAMS: Who is a member of the elite?
PALIN: Oh, I guess just people who think that they’re better than anyone else. And– John McCain and I are so committed to serving every American. Hard-working, middle-class Americans who are so desiring of this economy getting put back on the right track. And winning these wars. And America’s starting to reach her potential. And that is opportunity and hope provided everyone equally. So anyone who thinks that they are– I guess– better than anyone else, that’s– that’s my definition of elitism.
WILLIAMS: So it’s not education? It’s not income-based? It’s–
PALIN: Anyone who thinks that they’re better than someone else.
WILLIAMS: –a state of mind? It’s not geography?
PALIN: ‘Course not.
WILLIAMS: Who is a member of the elite?
PALIN: Oh, I guess just people who think that they’re better than anyone else. And– John McCain and I are so committed to serving every American. Hard-working, middle-class Americans who are so desiring of this economy getting put back on the right track. And winning these wars. And America’s starting to reach her potential. And that is opportunity and hope provided everyone equally. So anyone who thinks that they are– I guess– better than anyone else, that’s– that’s my definition of elitism.
WILLIAMS: So it’s not education? It’s not income-based? It’s–
PALIN: Anyone who thinks that they’re better than someone else.
WILLIAMS: –a state of mind? It’s not geography?
PALIN: ‘Course not.
August 08, 2012
Romney Hood in Trouser Woods
People working in the creative world are on duty 24/7. They live under a cloud of stuff, information about anything and everything, and they continually poke the cloud with a stick, looking for things that will connect somehow.
One such person was recently poking the cloud about Mitt Romney's tax plan. Taxes, taxes. Small cut for the middle class, large cut for the upper class. Take from the poor, give to the rich. Eureka! Robin Hood in reverse!
From there, it was an easy leap to "Romney Hood," which President Obama shared with the world in a speech earlier this week. It would be cool to think that Obama thought of it himself. Most likely it came from a person sitting in a cubicle, or lying in a bed, poking a cloud with a stick. There's nothing mysterious about how that works. I could teach it to you, but I'm not going to today because I want to do something else.
Robin Hood's turf was Sherwood Forest. Romney Hood's turf is Trouser Woods, land of "the rest of us." Here dwell the middle to lower classes, who have been forgotten by the country's political and financial systems. Our platform: "Anything to give the middle class a leg up."
Thus we are quite excited by Romney Hood's arrival in Trouser Woods. His activities are sure to bring the Woods more ink in the media, which is always a good thing when you're looking for a leg up. Even as we speak, media people are furiously poking the cloud with sticks, looking for something that can be made of "merry men" and "Friar Tuck."
One such person was recently poking the cloud about Mitt Romney's tax plan. Taxes, taxes. Small cut for the middle class, large cut for the upper class. Take from the poor, give to the rich. Eureka! Robin Hood in reverse!
From there, it was an easy leap to "Romney Hood," which President Obama shared with the world in a speech earlier this week. It would be cool to think that Obama thought of it himself. Most likely it came from a person sitting in a cubicle, or lying in a bed, poking a cloud with a stick. There's nothing mysterious about how that works. I could teach it to you, but I'm not going to today because I want to do something else.
Robin Hood's turf was Sherwood Forest. Romney Hood's turf is Trouser Woods, land of "the rest of us." Here dwell the middle to lower classes, who have been forgotten by the country's political and financial systems. Our platform: "Anything to give the middle class a leg up."
Thus we are quite excited by Romney Hood's arrival in Trouser Woods. His activities are sure to bring the Woods more ink in the media, which is always a good thing when you're looking for a leg up. Even as we speak, media people are furiously poking the cloud with sticks, looking for something that can be made of "merry men" and "Friar Tuck."
August 06, 2012
Twisted environment
Well, look. I guess we're sort of on our own. Every other week, some lunatic racist bug-eyed joker is going to take his automatic weapon to a movie or a church or somewhere and gun some people down.
We are just going to have to live with it. Or try to. Could be us, you know. Anybody reading this could go to a movie or church or a mall or lunch at the wrong place at the wrong time and get killed by a lunatic with an automatic weapon.
I was thinking this morning that the Second Amendment should be enforced in what Tea Partiers call the "originalist" interpretation of the Constitution and Bill of Rights. In its original guarantee, the Second Amendment referred to arms as they were in 1789. The 2012 death count wouldn't be near so depressing of the lunatics had to use a muzzle-loading flintlock musket.
Good luck trying to get some congressman to sponsor that idea. It would have been so amusing, also, to view the law-abiding gun nuts who brag that they "pack," having to tote a musket into McDonald's.
But not amusing enough. We are talking random life and death here. Ask the relatives in Aurora, Colo., or Oak Creek, Wisc. Two weeks ago it could have been any one of them, writing this blog. Not knowing if it would happen to them.
The question is, in this twisted environment, how do we give ourselves the best chance to stay alive? And it is "best chance." It may not work out, and we could still get shot. But how do we give ourselves the best chance, in the United States of America, with no help at all from our local, state, or federal government, to not be in the wrong place at the wrong time, the next time?
We are just going to have to live with it. Or try to. Could be us, you know. Anybody reading this could go to a movie or church or a mall or lunch at the wrong place at the wrong time and get killed by a lunatic with an automatic weapon.
I was thinking this morning that the Second Amendment should be enforced in what Tea Partiers call the "originalist" interpretation of the Constitution and Bill of Rights. In its original guarantee, the Second Amendment referred to arms as they were in 1789. The 2012 death count wouldn't be near so depressing of the lunatics had to use a muzzle-loading flintlock musket.
Good luck trying to get some congressman to sponsor that idea. It would have been so amusing, also, to view the law-abiding gun nuts who brag that they "pack," having to tote a musket into McDonald's.
But not amusing enough. We are talking random life and death here. Ask the relatives in Aurora, Colo., or Oak Creek, Wisc. Two weeks ago it could have been any one of them, writing this blog. Not knowing if it would happen to them.
The question is, in this twisted environment, how do we give ourselves the best chance to stay alive? And it is "best chance." It may not work out, and we could still get shot. But how do we give ourselves the best chance, in the United States of America, with no help at all from our local, state, or federal government, to not be in the wrong place at the wrong time, the next time?
August 05, 2012
How the Internet should work
Here's how the Internet could and should be operating this very day in your very own home:
1. A "two cents worth" business model.
2. A complete fiber-optic "hub and spoke" communications network.
Both of these models were being openly discussed in 1995, 17 years ago, by no less an authority than an MIT professor of media technology. His name is Nicholas Negroponte, and the two models were presented in his book, "Being Digital" (Knopf, 1995).
The "two cents worth" business model has a user paying two cents per visit to a Website. If you are reading this page right now, a PayPal-like mechanism inside the Internet would collect two cents from your account, and deposit it into my account.
For his example, Negroponte used a New York Times reporter. "If one two-hundredths of the 1995 Internet population were to subscribe to this idea," he said, and the Times reporter wrote 100 stories a year, he would earn one million dollars a year.
I don't know what the Internet population number is 17 years later, but I know that, using the two cents worth model, neither the reporter nor the Times would be in any financial difficulty. No doubt the Times would split with the reporter 75-25, meaning $250,000 annually (based on the 1995 numbers) for the reporter and $750,000 for the paper.
As for the reader (the user), 1,000 visits to Websites per month would cost $20.
Fiber was not new or untested in 1995, but it was certainly novel, because it could move 1,000 billion bits of data per second. "Transferring data at that speed," Negroponte said, "a fiber can deliver a million channels of television concurrently . . . I am talking of a single fiber, so if you want more, you just make more. It is, after all, just sand."
Phone companies were already using fiber to replace the old copper phone lines, as they wore out, but they weren't motivated to accelerate fiber expansion because fiber was way too powerful for regular old phone service. The phone companies saw the opportunity, though, and petitioned the FCC in 1983 to enter the entertainment and information industry. The petition was denied, and then softened in 1994. But 10 years of fiber expansion had been lost.
And so fiber is still in the future. A company called "Google Fiber" has begun trials in selected cities, the first being Kansas City. If fiber had been in place by 2000, with time enough to influence Internet entertainment and information business development, right now you could log off from here and get whatever entertainment and information you wanted, as those options are described on the Google Fiber home page.
That is how the Internet could and should be operating, this very day in your very own home. The cable companies are shaking in their boots. Yay! It just comes way too late.
1. A "two cents worth" business model.
2. A complete fiber-optic "hub and spoke" communications network.
Both of these models were being openly discussed in 1995, 17 years ago, by no less an authority than an MIT professor of media technology. His name is Nicholas Negroponte, and the two models were presented in his book, "Being Digital" (Knopf, 1995).
The "two cents worth" business model has a user paying two cents per visit to a Website. If you are reading this page right now, a PayPal-like mechanism inside the Internet would collect two cents from your account, and deposit it into my account.
For his example, Negroponte used a New York Times reporter. "If one two-hundredths of the 1995 Internet population were to subscribe to this idea," he said, and the Times reporter wrote 100 stories a year, he would earn one million dollars a year.
I don't know what the Internet population number is 17 years later, but I know that, using the two cents worth model, neither the reporter nor the Times would be in any financial difficulty. No doubt the Times would split with the reporter 75-25, meaning $250,000 annually (based on the 1995 numbers) for the reporter and $750,000 for the paper.
As for the reader (the user), 1,000 visits to Websites per month would cost $20.
Fiber was not new or untested in 1995, but it was certainly novel, because it could move 1,000 billion bits of data per second. "Transferring data at that speed," Negroponte said, "a fiber can deliver a million channels of television concurrently . . . I am talking of a single fiber, so if you want more, you just make more. It is, after all, just sand."
Phone companies were already using fiber to replace the old copper phone lines, as they wore out, but they weren't motivated to accelerate fiber expansion because fiber was way too powerful for regular old phone service. The phone companies saw the opportunity, though, and petitioned the FCC in 1983 to enter the entertainment and information industry. The petition was denied, and then softened in 1994. But 10 years of fiber expansion had been lost.
And so fiber is still in the future. A company called "Google Fiber" has begun trials in selected cities, the first being Kansas City. If fiber had been in place by 2000, with time enough to influence Internet entertainment and information business development, right now you could log off from here and get whatever entertainment and information you wanted, as those options are described on the Google Fiber home page.
That is how the Internet could and should be operating, this very day in your very own home. The cable companies are shaking in their boots. Yay! It just comes way too late.
August 02, 2012
How to take a load off
A few figures in human history have come to represent for the rest of us what realized potential looks like.
Realized potential is fun to watch, and it can bring tears of awe, and of affection for what is possible. It's what makes these figures not only famous, but revered, outside their specific disciplines. They provide us, the general crowd, a feeling of being inspired without asking for any commitment, a feeling of intense gratitude for what they could do.
Which is a windy way of getting around to the point. I have a couple of figures for you: Secretariat, and Luciano Pavarotti.
Today, or at any time of the day or night you need a lift in spirits, take a few minutes to go to YouTube and watch Secretariat winning the 1973 Belmont Stakes, and thus the "Triple Crown."
The Belmont Stakes is the third horserace in the Triple Crown series. It is the severest test of the three (which is why it comes last) because of its length, which is one and a half miles. Secretariat won the race by 31 lengths. It is the damnedest thing I have ever seen. (While you're there, if you want to see a horse shot out of a gun, watch Secretariat running the 1973 Preakness, the second race in the Triple Crown.)
Then, watch Luciano Pavarotti, singing "Nessun Dorma." Pavarotti was the opera star whose signature performance became "Nessun Dorma," from Puccini's opera, Turandot. "Nessun Dorma" only lasts a couple of minutes, but it is one of those passages that Puccini and others throw into their operas just to see if the singer can do it. That's why the fierceness comes across Pavarotti's face, after he has made it.
Both of these provide pure, salty, inspiration, really a kind of renewed faith in what is possible, which rolls out at the eyes and never fails to leave me feeling better. Just try it.
Realized potential is fun to watch, and it can bring tears of awe, and of affection for what is possible. It's what makes these figures not only famous, but revered, outside their specific disciplines. They provide us, the general crowd, a feeling of being inspired without asking for any commitment, a feeling of intense gratitude for what they could do.
Which is a windy way of getting around to the point. I have a couple of figures for you: Secretariat, and Luciano Pavarotti.
Today, or at any time of the day or night you need a lift in spirits, take a few minutes to go to YouTube and watch Secretariat winning the 1973 Belmont Stakes, and thus the "Triple Crown."
The Belmont Stakes is the third horserace in the Triple Crown series. It is the severest test of the three (which is why it comes last) because of its length, which is one and a half miles. Secretariat won the race by 31 lengths. It is the damnedest thing I have ever seen. (While you're there, if you want to see a horse shot out of a gun, watch Secretariat running the 1973 Preakness, the second race in the Triple Crown.)
Then, watch Luciano Pavarotti, singing "Nessun Dorma." Pavarotti was the opera star whose signature performance became "Nessun Dorma," from Puccini's opera, Turandot. "Nessun Dorma" only lasts a couple of minutes, but it is one of those passages that Puccini and others throw into their operas just to see if the singer can do it. That's why the fierceness comes across Pavarotti's face, after he has made it.
Both of these provide pure, salty, inspiration, really a kind of renewed faith in what is possible, which rolls out at the eyes and never fails to leave me feeling better. Just try it.
August 01, 2012
The TROUser Anthem
So I'm sitting here today, on the last day of my first month of retirement, feeling blessed to live in a country which created a means to let the middle class enjoy some retirement years instead of dropping dead on the job someday.
And so I read in the news that yesterday, some GOP congressman grandee (reported net worth $295 million last year, double the year before) named Darrell Issa called Social Security and Medicare "Ponzi schemes."
In those very same mostly pleasant hours yesterday, I was thinking how TROUsers in our pride could use an anthem of some kind, to celebrate the difference between "the rest of us," and the 1 percent grandees like Issa and his Ponzi scheme mentality.
Now I swear this is coincidental, and it seems kind of weird now, but all last weekend the same lyric kept going through my head. This morning I said, "That is the absolute best TROUser Pride anthem I ever heard. Thank you, Little Jimmy Dickens."
So here is the TROUser Pride Anthem, with its very first dedication going to GOP congressman Darrell Issa. Sing along to Darrell!
"May the Bird of Paradise fly up your nose
"May the elephant caress you with his toes
"May your wife be plagued by runners in her hose
"May the Bird of Paradise fly up your nose!"
And so I read in the news that yesterday, some GOP congressman grandee (reported net worth $295 million last year, double the year before) named Darrell Issa called Social Security and Medicare "Ponzi schemes."
In those very same mostly pleasant hours yesterday, I was thinking how TROUsers in our pride could use an anthem of some kind, to celebrate the difference between "the rest of us," and the 1 percent grandees like Issa and his Ponzi scheme mentality.
Now I swear this is coincidental, and it seems kind of weird now, but all last weekend the same lyric kept going through my head. This morning I said, "That is the absolute best TROUser Pride anthem I ever heard. Thank you, Little Jimmy Dickens."
So here is the TROUser Pride Anthem, with its very first dedication going to GOP congressman Darrell Issa. Sing along to Darrell!
"May the Bird of Paradise fly up your nose
"May the elephant caress you with his toes
"May your wife be plagued by runners in her hose
"May the Bird of Paradise fly up your nose!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)