August 20, 2012

The 2012 Universal Voter Literacy Test

Evidence surfaced yesterday that 65-year-old Todd Akin, in his sixth term in Congress, has an IQ which, if it "slips any lower," as the late Molly Ivins once said about Texas Congressman James M. Collins, "we'll have to water him twice a day."

If that, in August, 2012, indicates the state of the elected's intellect, it must bring into question the state of the electorate's intellect, which puts all Congresspersons into office. The Akin situation, the electorate's intellect situation, and the Romney tax returns situation, are the same. If there is bad news, the time to learn it is now, to give the nation the time to correct and recover as best as possible before the November election.

I call on the presiding authority, therefore, to institute a literacy test, to be taken and passed (with a 100 percent score) by all voters before being admitted to the voting booth on Nov. 6.

True or false: the sun revolves around the earth.

What does two plus two equal?

Name three federal agencies headquartered in Washington, D.C.

In "Washington, D.C." what does "D.C." stand for?

What is a "poll tax"?

Who went up the hill to fetch a pail of water?

Spell the animal that kittens grow into.

Who is buried in Attila the Hun's grave?

What is the difference between "legitimate rape" and "illegitimate rape"?

How many people does it take to make a baby?

How old do a) blue-eyed Democrats b) brown-eyed Republicans have to be in order to vote?

What is the difference between "Roe" and "Wade"?

In what city can you find the original copy of the Declaration of the Constitution?

In what numerical grade is a sophomore in high school?

Name the ways the female body has to shut down a pregnancy after rape.

Which will come first, Mitt Romney's tax returns, or Todd Akins' resignation?

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