Swallowing my pride for Velveeta

What else can I do? I will remain a champion of Velveeta cheese, as I have been for half a century, even though I now know I am not a preferred customer in the eyes of Velveeta’s marketers.

For this Sunday’s Super Bowl, Kraft Foods, makers of Velveeta, targeted women ages 25-50 in an email “Velveeta game-day party” campaign. More than 15,000 women responded, and 2,500 were chosen to receive a party pack featuring a 32-ounce bar of Velveeta, some chili con queso makings, and some lesser stuff including something called Ritz toasted chips, which, under the Constitution, people have every right to dip into chili con queso if they want to. Karen didn’t get the email. She is, um, not in the age range. Too bad. Velveeta is the star of her very spicy con queso, which is the best ever made. I eat it with a spoon.

I really don’t resent Velveeta’s chosen women, even though I was making green enchiladas with Velveeta before they were born. In fact, some of them must be all right. One of them, Angilyn Mathews, told The Wall Street Journal she uses Velveeta in her chimichangas. “It’s really easy,” she said. “You just roll up chicken, salsa and Velveeta in a flour tortilla and deep fry it.” You go, Angilyn! That is something I plan to try even before the Super Bowl.

To show I have no hard feelings, I will share with you the world’s best green enchilada recipe, that I got from an Abilene friend, Hugh Beck, some 35 years ago. He let me use the recipe in my cookbook, “Michael Grant’s Cookbook,” and this is how I wrote about him in the book:

“Some Texans are more Texan than others. Hugh Beck was one of these. Hugh ran a construction company in Abilene. I never saw him in anything but khakis and boots and a beat-up straw hat, and he had that peculiar squint of Texans who work outside with one eye always on the weather.

“And he was an eternal optimist. The sun never stopped shining on Hugh Beck, even on the bleak February afternoon that he shared with me the secret of his optimism. ‘Listen,’ he said. ‘If it is cold outside, and the sleet blew in and froze your wash on the line, and the kids need braces, and the car needs tires, and they think it’s your dog killing the chickens, and the gutter fell down, and you’ve got a dollar and a dime in the bank, and barely an inch of Scotch in the bottle, don’t kill yourself. Make green enchiladas. You will feel better again real soon.’”

And he was right. Maybe I better send this recipe to Barack Obama. In the context of Velveeta’s Super Bowl party, the green enchiladas are meant for Monday, to make it easier for fans of the losing team, particularly if it’s Pittsburgh, who will take it real hard. Hugh would like that.

1 pound lean hamburger
½ tsp. cumin
Salt and pepper
4 tbsp. butter
3 tbsp. flour
2 cups milk
½ pound Velveeta (none other), cubed
2 4-ounce cans chopped green chiles
½ tsp. salt
1 large onion, chopped fine
2 cups grated Cheddar cheese
Corn tortillas

Season hamburger with cumin, salt and pepper and brown in a skillet. Drain the fat. In a large saucepan, melt the butter and stir in the flour, cooking over medium-high heat just until the flour begins to brown. Add the milk and stir constantly until the sauce thickens. Add the Velveeta, chiles and salt and heat, stirring, over low heat until the cheese melts. Soften the tortillas one-by-one in a little hot oil in a skillet. Fill each tortilla lightly with hamburger, onion and grated cheese and roll. Place the enchiladas close together in a baking dish. Sprinkle any excess onion and cheese over. Pour the sauce over and bake at 350 for 25 minutes.