Mitch McConnell is in his office, scanning The New York Times opinion page:
"President Obama’s sweeping re-election victory stunned many in the Republican Party . . . What does the G.O.P. need to do over the next four years if it wants to take back the White House?"
"Take back the party," Mitch grumbles just as Speaker Boehner walks in.
"We've got trouble," John says.
"Please don't tell me you're having an affair with Jill Kelley," says Mitch.
"Who's Jill Kelley?" John says.
"Never mind. What's that thing on your wrist?"
John extends his right arm to display a purple plastic bracelet. "It says, 'WWAD?' 'What Would Abe Do?' Pelosi gave it to me."
"Whoa!" says Mitch. "Aren't we going a little fast here?"
"Don't worry," says John. "Nancy has developed some redeeming social values since last week. Just getting ready for Friday's meetings. Reaching across the aisle, et cetera."
"What's this about trouble?" Mitch asks.
"The Brooks column," John says, and reads from a folded paper:
"This is not the Republican Party of 2010. Today's Repuplicans no longer have an incentive to deny Obama victories. He's never running again. Most of today's Republicans understand that they need to decontaminate their brand."
John looks at Mitch. "That is almost word-for-word your memo to me from last Wednesday. Do we have a leak?"
"That's the least of our worries," Mitch says. "Look at the front page of the paper." John looks. "See us anywhere?" John shakes his head. "That's our trouble," says Mitch. "This damn sex business has taken over."
"What can we do?" says John.
Mitch looks at John. "Go ask Pelosi to lunch."
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