The Right Wing, starring Mitch, John and Mr. President, episode 7

"That went well, I thought," says Speaker Boehner, returning to his office with the President's bottle of birthday wine, a pricey Italian red, under his arm.

"Yes, it did," says Senator McConnell. "The first day of 'A New Era for America.'"

"'Where Obamacare Becomes Americare!'" John smoothly recites, beaming, "thanks to us."

"Pelosi knows what's going on," says Mitch, "running for the leadership for two more years. She wants to be in on it."

"I told you she had developed some redeeming social values since last week," John says, flashing the purple plastic bracelet Nancy gave him: "WWAD" – "What Would Abe Do?"

"At the meeting, Senator Reid seemed okay with it also," says Mitch, "but he is still my No. 1 worry. He may resist this plan. He may become an obstructionist. He may become the old me."

"He may be slow, but not that slow," John says with a shrug. "There's just too much in the plan for him. Remember our goals: 1. take the real GOP back from the tea party 'Limbaugh Republicans'; 2. meet Obama halfway to achieve 'A New Era for America,' real progress in the next four years in the economy, in health care (Americare! I love it), in immigration reform, in women's issues; 3. claim credit for the 'New Era' in the 2016 campaign; 4. nominate a viable presidential candidate for a change, and; 5. crush the tea party in the process. What's not to like?"

Mitch grins. "Plus," he says with emphasis, "and I am just realizing this, the GOP solves its problem, of being leaderless, that everyone's been talking about. A proven leader emerges overnight."

"Who?" says John. "Me?"

"No, John, sorry," says Mitch. "President Obama! He becomes the de facto leader of the GOP! All that magnificent organization of his, that made us look like chumps in the election, becomes ours to jointly utilize in the New Era of cooperation!"

"Wow," says John. "That won't sit well with people like the guy down in Texas who says Obama and all of his people are 'maggots feeding on the carcass of the republic.'"

"John," says Mitch, "who are we going to listen to in the next four years, a minor Texas county party official, or President Obama?"

"Damn, Mitch, I feel like a brand-new Speaker!"

"Happy birthday, John."